First Dates can be exciting but at the same time scary. When you meet someone new and you feel a connection, you tend to worry about what they think of you but as you overthink, it becomes easy to make mistakes. You might find yourself trying too hard to be perfect or doing things you normally wouldn’t do just so to keep the spark.
Although this doesn’t mean there’s something inherently wrong with you, these mistakes often come from simple human nature and the pressure to make a good impression. It’s okay to feel a little nervous or on the edge, on a first date but knowing what to watch out for can help you stay true to yourself and have a better first date.
Here Are 7 Common Mistakes People Make on First Dates and How to Avoid Them
First dates can be nerve-wracking! In this article, we’ll highlight some common mistakes people make and how to avoid them.
1. Over-Sharing
We’ve all been there—the thrill of a new connection overwhelms you and suddenly you want to tell them your entire life story. Yes, it’s very important to be open and honest, but do not share stories that are too personal with someone you just met, no matter how much you like them.
Don’t be that person! This only makes you look desperate or insecure. Avoid talking about topics like your past trauma, financial problems, or your past relationships. Remember that you’re only getting to know each other so focus on casual conversations that will allow you to do that.
2. Over-thinking And Over-planning
Another mistake people often make is over-analyzing every single detail. It’s easy to get stuck in your head before a first date. You begin to worry about what to say, what to wear, or how the other person will feel about you.
It’s important to have a plan, but trying to control everything can take away from the experience. Instead of worrying about perfection, focus on being yourself and enjoying the moment.
3. Phone Addiction.
Put that phone away! It’s rude to keep checking your phone when you’re with someone. It shows that you’re not really interested in them and that you’re more interested in what’s happening on your phone.
So, whenever you’re on a date always put your phone away or at least silence it and focus on the person you’re with. This is a simple gesture a lot of people overlook but can make a big difference.
4. Lack Of Authenticity.
Personally, I think first dates are almost like job interviews. Except instead of coming with a resume, you’re coming with your personality. And just like a job interview, it’s tempting to put on an act. We all want to make a good first impression, but sometimes we try too hard and end up ruining everything.
Avoid pretending to be someone you’re not or exaggerating your interests. Be honest about who you are, what you enjoy, and what you’re looking for in a partner. Remember, it’s better to be yourself and risk rejection than to pretend to be someone you’re not and risk losing the relationship in the long run.
5. Poor Communication Skills
Another thing that can really ruin a first date is poor communication. When we say poor communication it doesn’t just mean talking but also listening. You have to learn how to pay attention to what the other person is saying and show active interest in their thoughts and feelings.
Be careful not to interrupt or dominate the conversation. Again, remember first dates are about getting to know each other, not impressing the other person with your knowledge.
6. Forgetting The Golden Rules
A lot of people are not aware of the rules that can make or break a first date. Well, you’re about to learn some golden rules here!
- Avoid the Cinema:
When picking a venue for a first date, avoid going to the cinema. You may think watching a movie with someone you like is romantic, no doubt it is. But it’s not ideal for a first date. You’ll end up spending most of the time in silence, watching the movie.
- First Dates Should Never Be A Dinner Date: Do not plan a dinner date on a first date. Daytime dates are perfect for a first date as they keep the mood light and encourage more natural conversations. This makes the other person feel safe and secure. Also, you can easily spend more time with the person if you’re having a good time.
- Do Not Be Late: This goes without saying that it is a terrible habit to show up late to an appointment. How would you feel if you were meeting a person for the first time and you had to sit for hours waiting for them to show up? You lose interest because you’ll feel embarrassed and disrespected. Always try to be on time, or even arrive a little early. If you can’t help the situation, reach out to the other person immediately to explain why you’ll be late or reschedule at a more convenient time.
7. Lack of Follow-Through
So, you had a great first date. You felt relaxed, the conversation flowed, and you had a lot of fun.
Now, the question is: What’s next?
Don’t make the mistake of assuming your date knows how you feel. Even if you think the connection was obvious, it’s always best to follow up.
If you had fun, say so! Don’t leave the other person wondering if they’ll ever hear from you again. A call or a simple text saying “Hey, I had a nice time with you” can go a long way.
Things to Look For in Your Partner on First Dates
While your chemistry with this person might be strong, it’s also important to pay attention to other qualities. When you’re on a first date, it’s important to pay attention to more than just physical attraction. Here are a few things to look for on a first date:
- Shared Values: Do you share similar values and beliefs? This is very important for a long-lasting relationship.
- Mutual Respect: Does this person reat you with respect? This includes listening to you, valuing your opinions, and not being dismissive.
- Good Communication: Can they hold a conversation? Do they actively listen and respond thoughtfully?
- Sense of Humor: Do you share the same sense of humor with this person? Do they laugh at your jokes?
- Kindness and Compassion: Are they kind to others, including waiters or staff and strangers?
- Positive Outlook: Do they have a positive attitude and outlook on life?
- Emotional Intelligence: Can they understand and manage their emotions?
Remember, a first date is just one step in the dating process. Don’t just focus on yourself; you also have to pay attention to your date. Be observant, listen actively, and ask thoughtful questions.
Keep an open mind and don’t put too much pressure on yourself or the date. Relax, have fun, and let natural chemistry do its thing.
